Notes From a Totally Lame Vampire by: Tim Collins
Published: August 24, 2010 by: Aladdin
More books by this author: The Little Book of Twitter: Get Tweetwise!, The Northern Monkey Survival Guide, Behind The Lost Symbol, and a lot more!
Summary: Like Edward Cullen in "Twilight", Nigel Mullet was transformed into a vampire when he was still a teenager, and will remain this age forever. Unfortunately, Nigel became a vampire at the awkward age of fifteen, and must spend eternity coping with acne, a breaking voice, and an ineptitude with girls...In this, his excruciatingly funny diary, Nigel chronicles his increasingly desperate attempts to be noticed by the love of his life, Della Sparrow, the constant mortification caused by his vampire parents (not to mention the worry that they might accidentally eat one of his friends), and the frustration one feels when you've got the whole of boring eternity stretching out in front of you and you can't even have a lie in (vampires don't sleep). Forced to hang out with the Goths and emo kids due to his pale skin and social awkwardness, and constantly battling his embarrassingly overwhelming desire to sink his fangs into Della's neck, will Nigel ever get his girl? Fantastically witty and hugely enter taining, this fun and accessible diary will appeal to any fan of "Twilight" or "Adrian Mole", teenage or otherwise...
Review: Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire was a totally awesome, funny read that made me tear through the pages.
Nigel may look like a normal teenage boy physically but really he is an 100 year old vampire. Yeah you read me. A Vampire in England. Now Nigel is only trying to survive middle school, get the girl of his dreams, and,oh yeah, try to hide his fangs.
I ate up this book. I love books with a diary set of writing. They may look big but really they only take a day or two to read. This book was hilarious. I love Nigel's poems. Some of them took my breath away they were so amazing.
Nigel was a funny character. His illustrations were fantastic and I found the way he drew his friends to be hilarious. I sympathized with Nigel about his crush on Chloe. Sometimes, though I would be pissed off that he would just ask her out already. Day after day, he would be like "I'm going to ask her today" and then he never does. Sure, I know that it must be frightening to ask out a girl but grow a sack and just ask! The worst thing she could do is say no!
Chloe (or Della in the British version),Nigel's crush, got me so annoyed at times. She was just too grown up for her age and she knew it. She would tell Nigel that they were the most mature kids in their school. How old are you? Like 13? Live your life. Be mature when you are actually an adult. That's what I'm doing. I didn't see much chemistry between Nigel and Chloe ether. She seemed to be O.K. But I think she was bad for Nigel.
The last 100 pages were completely unsuspected. I loved it! I didn't think what happened would happen. It was amazing.
Overall: A great unexpected read.